It’s Not You, It’s Me – How to Break up with Your Blog

For some, there comes a point in their relationship with their blog when they are just not feeling it anymore, even after they try tips to avoid bloggy burnout. Is that you?

In the beginning, your mind overflowed with ideas, thoughts, and stories.  You had so much to share and you could never find enough time to spend with your blog.  It listened, it inspired, it accepted, and it was fun and exciting.

Time passed, you found other things took your time, felt more exciting, more interesting and you made excuses and apologize after apologize.  It wasn’t the blog’s fault, it was yours.  Your blog was perfect the way it was but you had changed.  You felt stifled, limited; you just had no desire left for your blog.

“Wait” you say, “I love blogging, I just don’t love my blog anymore.”

Before you find yourself writing that “It’s not you, it’s me” post-it note…

How to Determine Whether to Break-up with Your Blog

how to leave your blog behind

Ask yourself why

Why do you not love your blog anymore?  Is your post schedule too intense?  Do you feel limited by your niche?  Do you feel too unfocused?  Are you too distracted by other demands in your life?

Ask yourself if any of these can be fixed

Can you reduce the number of posts per week?  Can you expand your niche within the same blog?  Can you narrow your focus?  Do you need to take a hiatus so you can focus on outside demands until they are handled?

Ask yourself if you blog can handle the changes

What will happen to your blog if you reduce your posts per week?  Can you blog’s niche grow without losing its integrity?  Can you narrow your focus and find a engaged audience to follow?  Will the work needed to bring the love back take more work than starting over?

How did you answer these questions?

Yes, like any relationship, creating, building, and sustaining of your blog will take work, dedication, creativity, and flexibility.  Yet, like many relationships, we often find that we no longer can sustain the relationship because to do so would require one or the other to be inauthentic. If you feel that your blog is not allowing you to grow, that you have evolved right out of what it has to offer, it is likely time to move on.

Say Goodbye, with Respect

You have a following; you have a community of readers that make up your blog.  When you break up with your blog, when you say adios, you are also breaking up with that following.  Don’t leave them a post-it note with a lame excuse.  Feel them in on the process, let them know how you are feeling, thank them for their support, their love, their time.  Continue to follow and comment on their blogs, continue to tweet them and share their posts.  Perhaps someday, you will start a new blog and all those that remained friends after the break-up will be more than willing to support you all over again.

About the Author

Jacki is a book-obsessed, maniacally efficient, logically creative feminist that is still grieving the break-up with her four year relationship with her blog The Raven’s Spell.  To get through her misery, she has consumed massive amounts of social media and begun leaning on the support of her new blog Dare 2 Dream Dare 2 Do in order to become who she might have been.

About Ashley Abele

Ashley is a mom of 3 young children, social media consultant and blogger. She focuses on strategizing for bloggers and small businesses to help them reach their online potential and subsequent sales potential as cofounder of Other Half Media. When she’s not busy creating blogger outreach programs, email or social media campaigns, she blogs her life, parenting, and frequent moves at My Front Porch Swing. Connect on @AshleyNAbele on Twitter and on Facebook.

Comments

  1. I’ve been there…feeling like I need to maybe focus somewhere else, but I pushed through. In fact, I increased my blogging for about 6 months where I posted 5 days a week. Then come the beginning of this year, my posting time disappeared when my 4 year old quit taking naps and knowing my family was going to have some huge changes with moving in March I decided to reduce my posting. So, I busted my hind-end and prepped my blog to run on it’s own with 3 posts a week (with the help of some guest posts) for 2 and 1/2 months. I was worried a little, but my traffic immediately grew more with me slowing down then it did with me posting more. In fact, in February my traffic doubled and tripled in March compared to January’s numbers.
    Michelle {Fun On a Dime} recently posted..Mommy/Daughter Date {Guest Post}

  2. My last blog grew popular rather quickly and I enjoyed writing for a while, but then I grew seriously ill and just did not have the time or energy to write. I let my readers/subscribers know via a post that I was giving it up for a while. I came back a few months later, but by that time I had lost interest in what I was writing about (politics).

    I honestly hope that I don’t burn out with this new blog. I am staying far, far away from politics and focusing on life and being human. I’m actually having fun with this blog! I finally realized I was burning out so quickly with past blogs because politics brings down my mood and makes me angry. It honestly wasn’t a fun topic for me.
    Angie recently posted..Springtime Romance—10 Songs About Being In Love (Or Lust….)

  3. I’m already have a love-hate relationship with my blog and I’m still considered a baby in the blogging world having launched on November 30, 2011. I wrote about my challenge in a February 20, 2012 post, “Now I can clearly see why some blogs fail — and the failure isn’t always intentional.” I’m not ready to break up — yet, but since I feel my blog is a “catch all” and not a “mommy” or “daddy” blog or a “travel” or “adventure” blog or a “food” or “drink” blog or a “retiree” or “divorcee” or “30 before 30″ blog, etc., etc., etc. — all the usual suspects that are easy to define, then this has been unappetizing at times and gaining traction with readership is like pulling teeth without meds. (I have the same struggle on Twitter, which I was told I absolutely had to do. So much for that.)
    Brainy Pint Sizer recently posted..New Yorkers can bring you to the edge–and not in a good way…and that’s coming from a ‘Nu Yawker’.

  4. Good info to keep on the back burner. I had 5 blogs at once and got burned out with 2 of them, self hosted. Pulled two down and had regrets over one. A painful lesson learned was once they were removed by my host, they were gone for good & I wasted a lot of money not being able to get that design template or posts back ever again
    Cindi @ Frugal New England Kitchen recently posted..Bakers German Semi Sweet Angel Chocolate Cream Pie | Decadent Dazzling Desserts

  5. Good advice. I find myself taking frequent breaks from my blog – I get burned out easily, besides I like taking the time to live in the real world every once in while. ;)
    Michelle recently posted..Green Celebrities are Bad for the Environment

  6. I’m thinking honestly, that I need to break up with my blog as it is right now. I love my site. I love my site name. I just need to focus and I have like zero readers. I hardly write on it and it’s really unfocused writing. I feel a little brokeback mountain about it. I just can’t quit it.

    Part of me thinks I just really need to sit down, write my passion and blog it and total refocus the site with a new design, focus, and mission. How to do that is the question. Does the ole girl still have anything left in her or just let it go.
    Megan recently posted..Air conditioned lifestyle

  7. I’ve been running my blog for less than six months, so it’s relatively new still. I have definitely run into moments where I think I’ve written everything I’ve had to say. For so long I thought I had to stay confined to certain topics, but I later realized this wasn’t true. When I started to expand my niche, I jumped back into the blog. I love this article, thanks.
    Jessica recently posted..Decorating Small Spaces – Part 2

  8. I hope I don’t have to break up with my blog…well ever. That would be a sad day. I’m really enjoying it right now but I am new so I guess only time will tell.
    krystle recently posted..How to Use an Ovulation Test Strip

  9. I will also say that up to this point, it has NEVER crossed my mind to break up with my blog.
    Not once!
    Susan in the Boonies recently posted..Wine Tutorial: Selecting a Wine to Serve with Roast Chicken

  10. Yes, there are bloggers with whom I have a relationship, who if they decide to bid me adieu, I would really appreciate a farewell note, rather than nothing at all.

  11. I have seen so many bloggers move on over the years that I was happy to see someone finally write this post. Well done.

    It took me my first 12 months of blogging to finally figure out my blog voice–the thing I was truly passionate about talking about forever. And I lost all those original readers as soon as I evolved. Now almost 4 years in, I’m glad I stuck through the change.
    (FL) Girl with a New Life recently posted..Movie to Rent: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

  12. Creativity and relationships and writing wax and wane, don’t they? I’ve had a few blogs I follow that have gone away. Some with a notice and a farewell and some just disappear. And it’s so much better when they let us know why. Breakin up is always hard to do.
    Barb – The Empty Nest Mom recently posted..Patience

    • I have several blogs that I started because I loved the idea of them, but they never really got off the ground. I still hold out hope for 1 of them. Perhaps one day.

  13. Great advice! I hope that day doesn’t come. I’m really enjoying my blog and putting together my posts. I loved your title. It’s so catchy and it caught my attention and my curiosity. Great post. :)
    Lucy recently posted..I felt LOVED when I ATE

  14. *sniff*

    I can’t imagine a time when I will break up with my blog, but it may happen some day. I just know the sheer pleasure I derive from it now and don’t want to think about LAB (life after blog). That being said, I will definitely return to this post if I do feel we’re meant to part ways. Like Alli and Alexandra above, I a;ways get sad when a blogger I love stops updating without explanation.
    Charlotte recently posted..my latest project

    • I hope you never do part ways with your blog. But I am glad that you thought this was helpful enough to keep in mind.

  15. Great topic and so agree with so many of those thoughts with blogger burn out and not posting as much. I have stopped following blogs because of this lack of notice.
    Julie@my5monkeys recently posted..Team Abnegation Tuesday

  16. I am newer blogger and still very much in the romance stage with my subject matter, so it was compelling for me to read this at the early part of my blogging career. My takeaway from you article was not to take for granted that I will always feel the way I feel today about my site – and like with any relationship, I may need to work through duldrums or rough patches – or part ways respectfully. Thank you!
    Ilene recently posted..The Legend of Shiva Shakti: The Fierce Diva Guide To Trusting Your Instincts

  17. Breaking up is not only hard to do, but sometimes after you break up, you might regret it and terribly. That happened to me. I walked away from an insane following many years ago and didn’t think about how hard it would to get it back, if I ever wanted it back. I actually did a good job of dismantling the group and was focused on that for a while. It was too much for me years ago and I didn’t want the followers because it was different back then (before Social Media, I was personally answering all emails and it was just too much). At one point I thought it would kill me because I was working like a dog, 7 days a week, 15 hours a day. Now, many years later, I want those old followers back but most are now lost in space. Gratitude and appreciation for the followers (all the time) is a must if you are a blogger and I had to learn that one the hard way. Before breaking up with your blog, EXHAUST all efforts to save the blog first. Then and only then, cut the cord, if you dare.
    Rachel {Raw-kul} recently posted..Perfect Beige Flats and Mesh Gloves

  18. Excellent post, I like it! I honestly think it is more a disservice to one’s followers if one posts lame entries everyday. Rather post a few GOOD entries per week.
    BarefootMedStudent recently posted..Conjoined Twins: When Surgery Inspires

  19. Great tips! I do feel left out when some of my favorite bloggers suddenly disappear without a goody bye or see ya later.
    Optimistic Mom recently posted..Marriage & Money – Who is in control?

  20. I’m with Alison. WHen I go to a blog, through someone that I like’s blogroll, and see a last post just dangling there, I think there should be some CSI crime unit for unsolved blog murders.

    Who killed the blog? Did it just die just like that? Did it know it was it’s last post???
    Alexandra recently posted..So Raise Your Glass…

  21. I have broken up with many a blog. They were all personal blogs or my humor blogs. But, now that I am blogging for business, so to speak or really for my passion, I don’t feel that need to break up. Even when I get burn out on what to write next, something always pops up! It’s a great feeling.
    Lee recently posted..Single Mom’s are You a Statistic?

    • I really think that finding something like your business blog is the key to avoiding the break-up. Finding a topic or niche that will always have something new pop up that you are excited about keeps things fresh and interesting for everyone. Kind of like learning a fun childhood story about your Significant Other years into the relationship.
      Jacki recently posted..Confessions Of A Scary Mommy – Book Review

  22. This post is spot on for me. I have a few blogspot blogs I am hanging onto and I am not quite sure why. I have a wordpress.com blog that I am holding onto… basically that was my first foree into wordpress. But I am currently building a self hosted wordpress. And when I say building, I am writing and re-writing to build up to 100 posts so I am posting daily. And I can see where the burnout comes in. So, as soon as I hit my mark (and I am tweeting my old posts) – I will slow down or pick a couple of days to write and schedule. And that’s where the wp editorial calendar plugin comes in. I cna drag and drop and figure out what days are human interest, product and business and all about me.

    Great Post… and Breaking Up is Hard to do… ask AT&T
    Carla Kennedy recently posted..If I Had To Choose…

  23. Aw, I can’t imagine breaking up with my blog for good. I have gone on month+ breaks before and certainly lost followers who probably felt cutoff because I disappeared. Hopefully all your great advice will help to keep me from doing it again!
    New York Cliche recently posted..A Date with My Elementary School Nemesis: Running Uphill

  24. Great post! Thanks for sharing.
    Leigh Powell Hines (@Hinessightblog) recently posted..Five Swoon-Worthy Easter Ideas

  25. Great advice! I love how you recommend saying good-bye with respect. That’s important in any relationship, bloggy or otherwise.

  26. Great advice. I think I did a bad job breaking up with my previous blog. :(
    Elyse recently posted..Making My Liver Smile

  27. Wow! Happy SITS day. This is one of the most creative featured bloggers. The post caught my attention right away and quite frankly reading about someone breaking up with a blog sound funny and interesting. I think we all struggle with identifying ourselves with our blog, we can either change direction or niche or just break up.
    WebLy recently posted..A Love Letter To Me

    • So glad you enjoyed the post. Creating our niche can be so difficult because it really does require us to know ourselves better than we usually do. Otherwise, we may not be writing what we should be writing, or we will run out of passion before we run out of the desire to blog.
      Jacki recently posted..Confessions Of A Scary Mommy – Book Review

  28. Now that I’ve been blogging for three years, I can see how blog burnout can happen. I dealt with my burnout by reducing the number of posts I write. It worked well for me…I hope I never break up with my blog. :)
    Lynn from For Love or Funny recently posted..I’m tired of men dueling over me.

  29. Wonderful advice. I can”t imagine the day when I will want to stop blogging but if it ever comes I would hope to take this advice to heart.
    Mindi recently posted..Mommy Minute Monday: Why Straws Cups Rock

    • There was a time there when I thought I might just have to walk away from blogging because of time constraints. But I just couldn’t give it up all together. I just needed it to fuel what I am doing and being at this moment, not what I was back then.
      Jacki recently posted..Confessions Of A Scary Mommy – Book Review

  30. Hi Jacki,

    With my last personal site, I stopped writing because I got bored. I had been writing there for about four years, in hindsight… I should have kept it, and perhaps only updated it every few months. There was so much material there, and it had received a lot of traffic/recommendations. However, I didn’t drop out of sight completely, since I still commented on other blogs.

    I had built too many online relationships (a few turned into real life friendships) to simply do a disappearing act.

    Oh by the way, great post… as Alison mentioned, I wish more people would do what you suggested.

  31. Great post. I always feel a little stunned and cheated when blogs I read stop updating for a time, then just stopped writing, stopped visiting/ commenting, stopped getting onto Twitter – just incommunicado for no reason. I wish they’d read your post first!
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Rocking This Motherhood Gig

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