Ask the Expert

How To Enjoy Valentine’s Day – Whether You’re In A Relationship Or Not

By Feb 13, 2012May 24th, 201521 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which may give us a commission at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Just before Christmas, a coworker returned from a lunch trip to Kmart to tell me the Valentine’s Day candy had already been set out. You know, so single girls everywhere could get a few extra months of wallowing in their own sadness first.

I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum for the dreaded V-day, (single and in a relationship), and I have to say, I’m just not a fan. And the fact that it’s the final holiday in a string of events targeted by retailers as a time to be with the one you love is grossly unfair. What if you’ve turned over every stone and Prince Charming is nowhere to be found? Why can’t you feel good about your single girl status on Valentine’s Day (or any other holiday, for that matter) by spending it with your friends, family members, or other loved ones?

Feeling the single blues extra hard with Valentine's Day coming up? Use these tips to make it through the Valentine's Day season whether you are in a relationship or not!

Enjoying Valentine’s Day If You’re Single

Do not sit home and mope

Round up your girlfriends, hit up a happy hour, and check out the available men in your area. Even if you’re just slinging back a few with your friends, you won’t feel like obsessively checking your ex’s Facebook wall and watching schmaltzy movies on the Hallmark channel. I have never done either of these things.

Create your own happy

On one particular Valentine’s Day a few years ago, I was at a restaurant with about 10 girls and we giggled at the uncomfortable outfits girls wore on dates and felt bad for the bored glances that were exchanged between couples. Think about this as you’re laughing it up with your friends. Not every couple out that night is perfectly happy in their relationship. But you can always create happiness doing whatever you love.

Do not call your ex

I touched on this briefly in #1 but I can’t stress it enough. There’s a reason you aren’t together anymore and the 14th is a terrible time to call and try to make amends. ‘Nuff said.

Do something nice for yourself

Get a mani, splurge on a massage, treat yourself to a delicious dinner… But most importantly, remind yourself of all your wonderful qualities and remember that you deserve the best.

And what if you’re like me and you just don’t like the holiday? Maybe you have a new boyfriend and don’t want to put the pressure on (because, lets face it–it just never lives up to the hype/expectations, right?).

I’ll never forget the year my ex decided to take me to the Bronx Zoo (which may have something to do with my aversion to the holiday). We had been together for a few years and I was hoping for something romantic and intimate. For whatever reason, we weren’t able to go on Valentine’s Day itself so we went the weekend before to see their special mating season event. Clearly neither one of us read the fine print so we stared aghast as the males pranced in front of the cages of the female species, giving sex eyes and getting ready to pounce. Apparently they reunite the males and females on Valentine’s Day. I should also add that it was about 20 degrees out that day and we got in a fight on the way home about something or other. It was about as romantic as it sounds and I hope I’ve spared you of a similar experience this year.

Enjoying Valentine’s Day If You’re In A Relationship

Do not apply pressure on your significant other

Chances are he has heard about this holiday and he wants to impress you. Be appreciative of his efforts and don’t make him feel bad if he didn’t secure a reservation at the newest hot spot in town. You don’t want to eat there on Valentine’s Day anyway. You know they just turn tables that night, right?

Don’t tell your significant other about what your friends’ significant others are doing to celebrate

It won’t make either of you feel any better and it’ll set a terrible tone for the rest of the evening. Huge no-no.

Think about what this holiday truly means

Take away the heart-shaped boxes, the roses, and the jewelry. In the end, really none of that matters. This is a day to celebrate together and should be like any other day of the year. Treat each other with kindness, love, and respect. Pull out a board game. Watch your favorite movie together. Make a toast to good health, happiness, and love.

Because regardless of whether or not you’re single, these are the most important things in life.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you all.

Looking For Health and Wellness Tips?

You do not want to miss these posts:

About the Author: My Pixie Blog
My Pixie Blog details my journey through heartbreak and self discovery. Walking away from the one person who knew me better than anyone else in this world was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I wanted to chronicle the highs and lows of my breakup in written word. I now embark on a new journey with a fresh outlook on life and love and a wonderful new man to celebrate it all with. Like me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter.

About Featured Blogger

A featured blogger post on The Sway is our way of putting a spotlight on bloggers everywhere. Be sure to comment on our site and head over to the featured blogger's site to check out more of their great posts!


  • Happy to see you here, Charlotte. And it does sound like you survived with a smile on your face. 😉

  • April H says:

    And Happy Valentine’s to everyone!

  • April H says:

    Great article! I totally agree with Create Your Own Happy! I buy myself flowers every year (and I’m married)! That way I get what I want, and there’s no pressure. My husband often does nice things for me, we don’t need a special day for it.
    We NEVER go out to eat – it’s crowded and overpriced everywhere!

  • Alexandra says:

    Just another clear reason why Charlotte is so very special. Does she understand what it’s all about or what?

    Yes, she does


  • Since hubby and I have been married for 30 years, we put very little pressure on one another to expect much. We show each other our love in various ways all through out the year, so it is no big deal. I am cooking a nice steak for him tonight, and then we’ll snuggle up and watch a movie…

  • well done!

    the third boob….and other adventures in mommyhood

  • Ha!!! I just asked my hubby what are we doing tomorrow so I can pick out my outfit!!! I love v-day now 2yrs ago I hated it!! Thanks for the post!!!

  • Mark says:

    Is this the worst holiday in the world or what?
    Great post Charlotte! You’re a wonderful writer.

  • I like “create your own happy.” There’s something empowering about that…

  • Madison says:

    Great tips! Love the way you write.


  • Those are some great words of wisdom. But what do you do when you’re unattached and all your friends are married?

  • Cindee says:

    Love the advice. Crazy part is Hubby and I always stay in exchange cards. I make dinner no pressure.we have been married 38 yrs so that’s how he rolls ha. Strange this year. We like in a canyon away from stores genral store bar burger place. But 1/2 mile the ranch does weddings and opened up for VDay I got us tickets to surprise him. Good thing he mentioned it cuz he was gonna surprise me! Too great mind can think together once in awhile.

  • Madison says:

    I’m allergic to flowers. I’m not crazy about chocolate. I hate the color red. Valentine’s Day has always been a wash for me. I’d just as soon ignore it. What I hate now is the pressure to have a Valentine’s Day related post in my blogs. It can really drive traffic but my heart just isn’t in it.

  • Ashley says:

    There is so much pressure on Valentine’s Day to go out and do something special that it never lives up to expectations – whether you are single or in a relationship. Even though I’m married now I still can’t stand it – who wants to out and fight the crowds at dinner, or line up at the movie theatres? I don’t need roses on Feb 14th to know that my husband loves me.

    I may buy myself some chocolate tomorrow though – who can say no to chocolate any day of the year?

  • Emily says:

    I have to say my worst Valentine’s days were the ones I spent in a relationship! This year I think I will take myself shopping and for a pedi. Great post!

  • Adrian says:

    Im with you sister! After 27 years of marriage to the least romantic man in the universe, Vday is not my friend. Our anniversary is two days after, so we usually just combine them both and do a low key dinner then when it’s not so crowded. But all the hearts and flowers stuff – blech.

  • viviene says:

    Opps I think I’m guilty on pressuring my Hubby about what others are doing to their spouses =s

    But I’m going to make tomorrow a special day for sure. =)

  • I think “create your own happy” is my most favorite suggestion.

    Too many years I wasted when I was young on romantic fantasies of what someone else might to do to make me happy.

    When in reality, I had the power in my own hands to GIVE love to others, which, surprisingly, is what brings the REAL kind of happy.

    And roses wilt way faster than they ever should.

  • I remember going out for dessert with girlfriends when I didn’t have a date. We would have the best time.

  • My word Charlotte! You are popping up everywhere! You go girl!

    This is great advice. I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day…not in high school when all the popular girls got serenaded and given roses all day long, not when I was dating my ex, because the anniversary of our first date was right before Valentine’s Day and we couldn’t afford to celebrate twice… and certainly not now!

    For me, I make it about the kids. Can’t avoid it a work, so Valentine’s will be given out at school to my class… I usually make a heart shaped pizza or red wine “pink” risotto for the kids for dinner. I think this year we will jsut do heart-shaped cupcakes.