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The SITS Girls

The Secret to Success is Support

30 Dates or Less: An Experiment in Moving On

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Ladies, you are in for a treat!  Today’s Featured Blogger, Jolynna embarked upon an experiment to find out if she could get over her Ex in 30 Dates or Less, and allows us along on the journey.  Did she get over her ex?  Well, you’ll have to visit her blog to find out!


How long have you been blogging and why did you start?
I started blogging over a year ago. My first post was on February 10, 2010, on the heels of a very painful breakup.  A guy that I was head-over-heels in love with, sent me a dozen red roses and then promptly broke up with me on Valentine’s Day.  I was devastated and heartbroken, and unsure how to move forward and get over the pain.

Then a good friend of mine, during our weekly whine and wine session (and knowing that I like to write), suggested I start a blog. She had just seen the movie “Julie and Julia”, and thought it would be both fun, and therapeutic for me to do something similar, except instead of recipes, I would write about dates.  I laughed at first, but the idea grew on me, and eventually I thought, “Well, what have I got to lose?”.  And thus the blog was born.

Tell us about your plan to move on after a break up in 30 dates or less.  How is your blog formatted towards this end?
In the early days of my blog, no one was reading it.  It was really just a needed distraction and a way of motivating myself to get back in the dating pool and have some fun.  The blog and the writing was a way to hold myself accountable, and also provided a creative outlet.  But then friends started reading it.  And friends of friends.  And then total strangers.  The next thing I knew, the local newspaper did a full page feature on me which you can read here.
After the story ran, I was inundated with emails and phone calls from people I didn’t even know.  It was crazy, and very unexpected.  Shortly after that, I was asked to be a guest on the Kim Iverson show, a syndicated radio program that airs in several cities.  Needless to say, all this media attention, though fun and exciting, also created some challenges regarding dating.  My blog was no longer anonymous and I had to be very careful about what I wrote to keep myself out of trouble.  I wanted to be true to my blog and write what was in my heart, just like I had always done, but I also didn’t want to offend any of the guys I went out with or hurt anyone’s feelings.  It’s been a fine line to walk.
At any rate, I completed my 30 dates after a few short months, and lo and behold, at the end of it all I found I really and truly was over the guy.  And it was such a journey – truly a life changing one for me.  I learned a lot about men and about dating. But mostly I learned a lot about myself.

Where do you see your blog 5 years from now?
I think the answer to this one is simple.  In the years ahead, I see my blog wherever I see myself – wherever life takes me.  I will probably change the name of it, and should have done so before now.  But people find me through the title, mostly women going through breakups themselves, floundering and searching for some way to get through it.  I got a Facebook request just this week from a woman I don’t know, who said she has been following my blog for sometime.  And that even though she knew it was about my personal journey and experience, it really helped her through her own rough times.  It feels very good to know that in some small way, my little heartbreak, and my crazy blog has helped others.

If you could have one day to yourself, what would you do?
What a fun question!  And with so many things I enjoy doing, it’s actually a very difficult one to answer.  But what I would love to do at this particular moment, is find a way to transport myself to The Cape –  perhaps Martha’s Vinyard (oolala).  I would start my day with a a long, easy run along the shore, followed by a plunge into the cold, early morning Atlantic.  Then I would spend the rest of the day on the back porch of an old Victorian, high on a cliff, overlooking the sea (of course).  I would drink white wine and read a good book, without a watch, and without a cell phone. And to complete my little daydream – as the sun sets, a handsome man in shorts and deck shoes shows up in his convertable to take me out for dinner.  We’ll have fresh-from-the-sea live Maine lobster, clam chowder and a wicked, good time.  Perhaps his last name shall even be Kennedy.  🙂

Favorite Posts:
I am a Cheese Rat: A Parable for Life Choices.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang:  Anatomy of a first date.
The 30 Date Epilogue: The 30 Date Experiment Wrap up.

About Alina Thomas

Alina is a Northern Virginia wedding photographer based out of Leesburg, VA. She has a passion for arts and design, and strives to express it through her work. She is creative at heart and loves nothing more than sharing her knowledge in photography with other Virginia wedding photographers on her blog each week. Alina loves being a new mom to her first-born and spending time with her husband who helps her run her businesses. Please feel free to follow her on: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest or Google+.

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  6. Cottage By The Sea says

    Your choice for one day to yourself made me drool. Only changes I would make are, it would take place on Martha’s Vineyard and the guy who walks up on the porch would be James Taylor. Of course he would have his guitar and sing me love songs all night long.