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Only Parent Chronicles

By Apr 9, 2011 May 12th, 2012 139 Comments

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Only Parent Chronicles

Kristin of Only Parent Chronicles is a widowed mother of two who writes about how to be an “only” parent and focuses much of her writing on things that are important to her and raising her amazing kids.

What inspired you to start blogging?
My dad. Although he doesn’t read my blog, he is my inspiration. Several years after my husband died, my dad made an off the cuff comment about how people loved “stories like mine”. I asked him what he meant and he simply said, “You’ve endured a great tragedy in your life and you’ve come out a better person on the other side. Not everyone can say the same.” This comment has stayed with me for years, and while I don’t always write about my bad experiences and my triumphs, knowing that I have reached at least one person keeps me writing.

Only Parent Chronicles

You mention that you believe being a single parent is different than being an only parent…in what ways?
I have this conversation a lot with people. I have many friends that have children and are divorced or co-parent with someone in some way. While their relationship with the other parent isn’t always a good one, they still have someone with whom they share the role of parent. I remember when my kids were really small. My single girlfriends with kids all had their off weekends at the same time. That is when they scheduled their “Girls Night Out”. Being an only parent, I never had a weekend off, or a person to take one child when the other had to go to the emergency room, or even someone to take one so I could have special time with the other. But on the other hand, I do have the benefit of not having to share my kids with anyone. I don’t have to split holidays with someone. I don’t have to make sure the rules at my house match with the rules at someone else’s. And I don’t have to adjust to my kids being away from me every other weekend and for extended time over the summer.

What can readers expect when visiting your blog for the first time?
Only Parent Chronicles isn’t all about being an only parent. I am a mom, but that isn’t what defines me. When someone visits Only Parent Chronicles for the first time, they should expect an honest dialogue about life. Sometimes I talk about serious, heartfelt issues, other times there is light hearted fun.

Only Parent Chronicles

What advice can you share with other “only” parents?
Being a parent is hard. It doesn’t matter if you’re doing it by yourself or with someone else. A lot of us try to overcompensate for the missing parent, and a lot of us let guilt tear at our hearts. As long as you can look at yourself every night and say, “Today, I did my best.” there is nothing to feel guilty about. It is okay to feel frustrated. It is okay to feel overwhelmed. And it is 100% okay to just want some time for yourself. Being a parent is the hardest job we will ever have. Everyone needs a break sometimes.

In what ways have you benefited most through blogging?
Blogging has been such an amazing gift in my life. I began blogging at a time when I was unemployed and felt isolated from the rest of the world. Through blogging, I have developed amazing friends around the country. I have had the opportunity to meet several other bloggers in real life. I have also developed real, true friendships with women I have met in Blognia. These women support me and love me unconditionally. They give me a confidence in myself that I didn’t have before, and I love them.

Other popular posts from Only Parent Chronicles:
Bringing Home Baby; My Story Part 2: A post about a first day home with baby that no one should have to endure.
Step One: How do you define happiness?
Dream a Little Dream: What are your dreams?  Is your life close to what you envisioned or so far from it?

* * * A special thanks to SITS sponsor Bargain Briana for helping fellow SITStahs save money by providing the best daily deals! * * *

139 Comments

  • BlackEyedDog says:

    oh my….that’s sad. But I like how strong she is for her children. I don’t know if I could do that.

  • Tammy says:

    I love Kristen! She is one fantastic and supportive blogger.

  • Elena says:

    I really like your outlook on being an only parent (vs. a single parent). You’re an amazing woman and mother!

  • Grams says:

    I’ve never really thought about how being an only parent is different from being a single parent.

  • Myne Whitman says:

    I’ll be checking out her blog, I like her description of single parents and only parents.

  • Caralyn says:

    I know the difference between co parenting and co-parenting my husbnad was absent from teh kids life while he was incarcerated so there was no breaks no vacations and no visits no help no miney ever and it was hard on the kids as well here is an article that i have written i think that you would appreciate this a lot and would enjoy reading it so ill link it to you http://mommyblogsnet.org/2011/04/life-as-a-single-mother-there-is-hope/

  • Anne Galivan says:

    After reading your story at your blog, I do want to say that, while it’s not a popular position anymore, there is a character issue involved in addiction. Not just chemical imbalances or depression, etc.- at least that is my opinion. I have had a lot of experience with people with addictions and rarely do they recover. Someone who can go a year without substance abuse, as I have seen, and then “relapse” is making a choice. At least that is how I see it. The big thing, I think, is that they don’t want to consider themselves as HAVING a fault. They don’t want to say, “I am weak.” Yet that is exactly what they have to do. They have to acknowledge that they have a fault, a flaw and that they cannot fix themselves. They must have help. Most addicts are men. I am pretty sure I can say that with accuracy. So it becomes even clearer why they cannot get better; they cannot admit that they have a flaw that they cannot fix themselves. And please don’t blame society, unless it is to blame society for excusing addicts far too much.

    I say all this to those who, like this woman, have had experience with addicts or have loved ones who are addicts. You cannot fix them. They have to be willing to admit that they cannot now, or ever, fix themselves. They are weak and flawed. Until they can admit that and admit their need, they will keep “getting better” for a little while, and then they will go back to the addiction.

    This is just my opinion, but like I’ve said, I’ve had a lot of experience with addicts.

    One last thing, there are a lot of grieving people in the world. A lot of people die young for stupid, stupid reasons. Today (Monday the 11th) was the fourth anniversary of my niece’s death. She was only 19. Her friend was driving irresponsibly and flipped the truck my niece was riding in; my niece was killed at the scene. My sister arrived at the scene to find her daughter on the highway under a tarp.

    My brother was killed by a drunk driver at age 37. My cousin (who was like a brother) died 18 months later from a rare blood disorder. A bone marrow transplant was unsuccessful. He left a wife who was 29 years old and a 3-month old son. These combined tragedies ripped through my family like a train wreck. The emotional trauma left me with a chronic illness.

    Many people go through tragedy and survive and they are all around us and we don’t even know it. Be kind to someone who seems to be going through a rough patch. You never know what they have had to deal with.

  • Oh, I’ve visited this blog before! It is great!

  • Happy SITS Day! Off to check out her blog.

  • Andrea says:

    What an incredible journey.

  • Hey, I know you :o)

  • Sandra says:

    Kristin, this was so touching and heartfelt. I had no idea you are a widow.
    You handle your blog, your writing, and your family with such grace and dignity.
    I am truly lucky to have found your blog.

  • Minks says:

    my mom was/is an only parent to me! I never thought about the semantics, but that’s a good point. She wasn’t a single parent…she was indeed an only parent.

  • Michelle says:

    What an inspiration! As a mother of 2 young boys, I cannot image the demands of going it alone. So happy you have your blog – good for you!

  • She'sWrite says:

    Awe-inspiring. This is the first featured blogger that I’ve been so enraptured in her story that I’ve read through at least 10 of her blog posts. There’s a lot here that I can relate to. Being a mom, having loved ones with cocaine addiction, and suicide. I wish I had her courage and maybe someday I can have the strength to blog about the darkish corners of my life… Congrats on your SITSday. Well deserved. Very well-deserved.

  • Very unique and inspiring! Can’t wait to check out this blog! 🙂

    ~Melissa
    Reflections on Writing

  • Tiffany says:

    I commend a woman who raises her children alone. Going to check her out!

  • I love how she draws the line between single parents and only parents. I’ve never looked at it in that way and she was spot on. Headed over now!

    Check out my guest post from Celebrity Makeup Artist Stella Kae!

  • I love OPC and her meme Post it Note Tuesday

  • Leah Rubin says:

    She amazes me– great work, love the dad relationship, too! Way to be inspired, kiddo!

  • Teacher Girl says:

    What an inspiring woman! Off to check her out =)

  • Kimberly says:

    Kudos for that mama!

  • Bless you, Bless your Children, Bless your Family!

  • CK says:

    Wow, sounds like an awesome story

  • I’m really looking forward to checking out this blog!

  • It’s funny how a small comment can stick in your mind.

    The only vs single parent comparison is interesting. I’ve never really thought about it before.

  • le chef says:

    Strangely I can relate, but I still have a husband. Sometimes life has its own agenda and we’re just here for the ride.

  • Wow. What inspiration. I can’t even imaging the strength it must take to be an only parent. Looking forward to checking out the blog…

  • Thanks for sharing your story. As a new mom myself, I can’t imagine being an only parent, it is hard enough with two. Your story is a testament to your strength and love for your children.

  • Love the cheesehead pics, hah!!

    Happy Monday ladies!!! 😀

  • I have so much admiration for a person who overcomes and is a better person for it. You acknowledge the difficulties, yet stay positive. Headed your way! Happy SITS day!

  • Kristin_OPC says:

    As usual, I am tardy to the party. Thanks so much to everyone that has been by today! Also, thank you to the SITS girls for allowing me the opportunity to be featured today!

  • Ninisays says:

    What an incredibly strong woman, and mother. Just got done visiting her blog. I have to admit I just spent an hour catching up on her story and past posts. What an incredibly incredibly strong woman. Thanks SITS for this featured blogger!

  • Amanda says:

    What a strong and enduring mother and woman. Sounds like a really inspiring blog to subscribe to!

    Anyone have any ideas about best blog web hosting? I am looking to upgrade to something that will allow more flexibility (paypal, ejunkie, etc) as blogger doesn’t very easily…let me know!

  • Lindsey says:

    Love this sweet lady! Glad to see her featured.

  • Deidre says:

    wow – i had never thought about the single v only parent semantics..

  • So looking forward to visiting your blog! Happy, happy SITS Day!