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Inspiration

How to Let Go of Control and Start Living in the Moment

By Aug 21, 2013 August 25th, 2013 33 Comments

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Are you looking for a way to let go of control? Does your day to day life have you feeling stressed and maybe even overwhelmed at time?

Then read on for Natalie’s story on how she learned to let go of control and live in the moment.

let go of control

Before I had kids and worked full-time, I thought I had a pretty good handle on my life.  I was successful and efficient while in the workplace, and in my off time we were traveling as much as we could.

I was the manager of my office so I had control there.  At home, I handled the finances and household chores and lists.  My Type-A personality was happy with how I was balancing my life.

Fast forward to being a stay at home with two small boys.  Slowly but surely I have felt myself losing control of all the aspects of my life.  At first, I was disappointed with myself and couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t “get my act together.”  Surely, I am doing something wrong when I saw all these other moms with the same balancing act of raising their children, having a clean house, cooking gourmet meals, and doing Pinterest activities/crafts in their spare time.

After over a year with having two children, I realized I had to let go of control.  When family members offered to help with my youngest birthday party plans, I said yes instead of no.  When my husband offered to help me clean, I didn’t freak out and say, “Why because you think I can’t do it on my own?” Instead we worked together as a team.  I learned that it’s ok to ask and accept help.  It doesn’t make you less of a person or a failure.  It just means you are human.

let go of control

How to Let Go of Control

Many of us have a desire to control all that goes on in our life. At some point, while we are juggling everything, something is going to fall to the wayside.  And you know what?  It’s ok.  Because when one of those balls drop, someone will be there to help you.  Just be sure to accept the help with a smile and say “thanks.”

And while you’re smiling, here are three other ways to let go of control and start living in the moment:

1) Put Yourself First

From time to time we need to come first! As moms, wives, sisters and daughters we often feel like we have to take on multiple roles. At times we feel like we need to help everyone and be in charge of everything. Take a step back and remember who is most important. Yourself! If you aren’t taking care of yourself, you won’t be much use to anyone else.

2) Throw Out the Schedule

Most of us are living in a very fast paced world, with very limited down time. Every once in a while it is beneficial to toss the schedule for a day or two and just live in the moment. Use this time to do something for yourself, enjoy a park day with your children or just simply relax!

3) Accept Help

Let’s face it we can’t do it all! We would all like to think that we can, but we simply can’t. When someone offers to help you out, say yes! There is nothing wrong with accepting a helping hand. Help can come in the smallest forms sometimes. A friend offering to cook you dinner, take the kids to the park or just do the school pick up. Whatever it might be always graciously accept help.

Your Turn

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Are you able to let go of control? What are your secrets to taking a step back and living in the moment?

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33 Comments

  • […] How to Let Go of Controlling it All […]

  • Sometimes it is so difficult to accept help or even communicate that it is needed. But you are right, when u accept help things are definitely easier.

  • Great advice! I am a recovering control freak. I didn’t learn how to let go until my son was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. Having a special needs child teaches you fast that you have no control over what happens to you. I find that when I take time for myself I’m able to live in the moment better. I’m more relaxed and willing to drop what I’m doing to play with my kids.

  • kim says:

    Great advice! It’s such a gut reaction to say, “No, I’m fine…” but we all love to help others so learning to accept help is just as important. Thanks for such an important reminder!
    xo ~kim & chloe

  • Charlotte says:

    YES to all of these… especially the “asking for help” part. I have a hard time with this myself sometimes, but find that friends/family are always so incredibly eager to help out (just as I am if ever a friend is in a bind). It’s GOOD and healthy to reach out to a friend in need; why are we so unwilling to accept it ourselves?

    Wonderful post!

  • Laurie says:

    Wise words! It took me years (and babies) to learn to let go. Being in control is an illusion. Life can change in the blink of an eye, and when it happens, being able to learn lessons along the way is a blessing. Faith in a Power is a huge factor in my life.

  • Love this post. Letting go of control and staying in the moment (peacefully, without worrying) is one of my biggest challenges. Usually taking a nice long walk helps me to stay centered- anything that gets me out of my head. Paying attention to what I do have control over- my diet, my sleep, etc- helps as well.

  • Stefanie says:

    Must stop & breathe – let others help you. I think I will write this on a sticky note & tape it up all over my house 🙂
    Thanks Natalie!!

  • Hi Natalie! Great post! I have recently had to start learning how to let go of control, since I finally found a man who WANTS to share in the responsibilities of daily life with kids. It has been a very hard thing to do for me considering my past life; however, I am making progress. 🙂 I often just remind myself that everything doesn’t have to be perfect all the time. For example, I don’t have to constantly have a clean house (I have 2 kids and I work full time. My other half works nights) It is not a requirement in life to keep our homes spotless all the time. There are so many other important things in life. My kids come first. They need my attention more than the house does, most of the time. And it’s not like we are home enough to have to worry about company anyway lol. Happiness isn’t defined by the worldly possessions we have, it is defined by our laughter and smiles. Without it, there is no need to have anything else.

  • Love these inspirational words, Natalie, thanks for sharing from the heart!

    My top tip is to have some time for just being, and not doing anything. It’s very hard when you are always rushed go-go-go but it’s so rewarding once you start doing it more often. And it becomes easier in time 🙂

    I enjoy walking alone while listening to music and yoga, these 2 really give me the so needed R & R.

  • Candi says:

    This is something I needed today that I am struggling with. Thank you. It’s really hard but I guess anything worth while is.

  • MomChalant says:

    I need to work on accepting help, or better yet, asking for it!

  • Whitney says:

    My husband is the one that has brought this to my attention. I didn’t realize how much of a control freak I was until we bumped heads. I’m trying, it’s a daily struggle, plus I have to remember that I can’t control everything and people. One thing I’ve realized with giving up control, give up stress too.

  • I totally agree with tossing out the schedule every once in a while!! But, I only do this once in a while. I love structure and tend to not let go as much as I should.

    But, I’ve been doing good by building in time where I can just be free with no plans. A few weeks ago we took a road trip up the coast of California! It was very freeing.

    For me, it’s being mindful of my state and then planning to live in the moment (which I guess defeats the purpose). Ha! I’m working on it though.

  • I struggle with this daily! I don’t even have kids yet! I never feel like I can accomplish everything I want and when I do check things off my list it isn’t enough. I’ve been been learning how to learn to celebrate accomplishments instead of just running to the next big thing. It’s difficult with our type of personalities. Thank you for writing about this!

    -Aimee

  • Victoria says:

    This is something that I definitely struggle with everyday! Even my husband is constantly telling me to stop trying to. control everything and that I’ve actually totem worse since having our girls, but it’s my way of feeling like everything is going smoothly. Unfortunately when it doesn’t run smoothly I don’t seem to take it very well, so,I know it’s something I need to work on.

  • Patty says:

    Being the control freak that I am, I needed this! Thanks!

  • I definitely struggle with letting go of control, but I am never disappointed when I DO it and feel the release.

  • What a nice reminder! I am able to let go of control for moments or a day, then I feel the need to whip things back into shape really gets to me. So much that I wonder if it’s worth being willy-nilly for a day. I have to admit, though, those no schedule days to lead us on some fabulous adventures! I’m working on putting me first and I actually have a problem saying no to anything, whether it be an invitation to a social event or to help someone with something 🙂 I need to learn the word no! 🙂

  • Alison says:

    I am a big fan of putting myself first 🙂

  • Being a very type-A perfectionist myself, this post resonates with me very much!

    I particularly like embracing putting myself first lately. When I do not give myself what I need, how can I give others what they need or do my job right? I can’t.

    I also need to embrace throwing the schedule out more often. So often I feel trapped by my schedule, but even when I stick to it, I am just so unhappy or “busy” feeling. And days of feeling like that is no fun!

    Thanks for this!

  • Happysuz says:

    Great advice! I had to laugh that you might not accept cleaning help from your hubby. If mine offered, I wouldn’t be able to hand him the mop fast enough! LOL!

    • Natalie says:

      Ha ha well let’s just say in the past their have been a few times when he started cleaning was b/c I wasn’t doing it so it made my mad…LOL but this time I said whatever I will accept the help! 🙂

  • The days we have tossed out the schedule are some of the most fun adventure filled days we have had.

  • Kerith Stull says:

    This lesson is something I have to work hard at EVERY SINGLE DAY. As the parent of 17yo with moderate cerebral palsy, I struggle not to have Super Mom Syndrome, especially now that she is back in public school after homeschooling for three years. One day at a time One task at a time. One moment at a time. Give in to it. People want to help, NEED to help. You can show others respect by accepting and even … dare I say it… ASKING for help. Great post!

  • Adrienne says:

    Wise words, Natalie! Letting go of the desire to control everything is a tough call. I struggle with this, but I have experienced the peace that comes when I actually let go. I wish I could remember to do it everyday.

  • This was very uplifting and inspiring. I’m always considering this action, however as a single parent that is food for thought.